It’s incredible what the collective intelligence of the internet can do with the humble slot machine, elevating the one-armed bandit to web-based stardom.
From spitting sweet rhymes over slotty beats to virtual arcades run by sex-crazed Gypsies, here are the 5 coolest pieces of slot-related content online…
Slotozilla rap
“Slotozilla, playing the slots is such a thrilla.” Eat your heart out Flava-flav.
The homies at Slotozilla dropped this creative ‘slot rap’ to market their website, demonstrating what can be achieved with a little ingenuity and a whole lot of swagga. In fact, Slotozilla’s efforts earned them a nod from this presentation on marketing content in the challenging casino sector.
This rap gets kudos for originality and boasts some killer rhymes: “No deposits, no registration, no downloads; this is amazing.”
Quick, somebody call Dr Dre!
How Stuff Works – Slot Machines Guide
There are loads of slot guides online, but this comprehensive expose from How Stuff Works is a cut above the rest. It covers everything from the basic components of virtual and land-based slot machines to advanced information about random number generation, photoelectric cells and adaptive logic.
No matter how well you think you know slots, you’re sure to stumble across some unexpected factoids in the HSW guide, making it well worth a gander for gamblers of all experience levels.
How to Win at Slot Machines – Steve Bourie and Michael Shackleford
Advantage players might be familiar with gambling expert, author and OAP Mitt Romney impersonator Steve Bourie, who penned the American Casino Guide. Bourie regularly shares his expertise via his YouTube channel, exploring topics like card counting and getting ahead in video poker.
The highlight of Bourie’s series is this video (right below) in which he teams up with Michael Shackleford (AKA the Wizard of Odds). Together, these casino-crippling titans take on the slot machine, revealing the secrets that casino managers don’t want you to know.
GO BABY GO!
I defy you to watch this video and not be moved by the sheer exuberance of silver-haired Vegas veteran. “GO BABY, GO BABY, GO BABY, GO BABY!” he screams as his lady racks up a fat jackpot, “CHA-CHING, CHA-CHING!” he yells as the numbers climb into six figures.
His joy is so infectious that a crowd of punters soon join in the fun, converging on the slot machine and offering up their support as the elderly gent falls to his knees and salutes the machine that has just changed his life.
The final pay-out? $18,79. Not bad for a day’s work, eh?
This is the kind of thing gamblers dream of, and while we may be a competitive bunch, it’s always nice to see good things happen to nice people. Good on you, buddy!
Cooties
The guys at Romp.com (a sadly defunct comedy site) released this Flash-based slot on Newgrounds.com in 2001, making this slotty oddity a bit of an antique in internet terms.
The game takes place in ‘Cooties Casino’ – a filthy fleapit managed by Pedro: a shady gentleman with a creative insult up each sleeve and a rather disturbing moustache. His three slot machines are themed around ‘Sex,’ ‘Drugs’ and ‘Rock’n’Roll.’
When I went for ‘Sex’, I landed three schlong symbols on my first spin, meaning I received a horny sheep as a prize. Charming.
